


In Another Life

by HoeishBunny



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Declarations Of Love, Love Confessions, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 12:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17643281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoeishBunny/pseuds/HoeishBunny
Summary: This is basically pure angst trash. About unrequited love between Calum, Michael (and Luke.) And about what should have been/could have been. Wishing you could pick who you love.Calum telling Michael how he feels. And Michael well...





	In Another Life

//

Calum's POV:

Me and Michael were paintball shooting all day, seemed like a good way to relax and blow off steam. Ashton and Luke had left for Los Angeles, and Twitter was freaking out because Luke and Arzaylea had been found out.

I knew this was going to happen, honestly thought it'd happen sooner. Dropped myself onto my soft bed, scrolling through my phone.

Twitter really was freaking out, mostly at Luke and even some because Michael and I had gone paintball shooting. Posts like "Malum is alive" or "Malum is back" had me smiling like an idiot. It was Michael's idea and I couldn't say no to my kitten.

It really was fun, chasing Michael behind things, hearing Michael run away giggling or hearing him gasp in surprise whenever I got him. It was like...how we used to be. Before the band, before anything started,....before Luke.

I didn't hate the boy, God no, but did I envy him, yes I did. I knew Michael had grown feelings for the tall blonde, blue-eyed penguin looking boy.

I kinda hated how obvious it was, I wondered if Luke knew and simply didn't care or if Luke was that blind. Luke seemed to always get jealous whenever I and Michael hung out. Maybe he liked Michael back, but then again, he had Arzaylea? I don't know.

It's something I should be over, something I shouldn't think about, but I can't stop. I can't get rid of this feeling deep down, this feeling like something precious was taken from me, right through my fingers. It was gone and I could never have it back. Have him back.

I plugged in my earphones, listening to my playlist. I started getting comfortable, almost falling asleep till I heard the door open and Michael came into view. He looked quiet and hesitant, even shy, slowly fidgeting with his fingers that were joined together. Not even looking me in the eyes. Something was up.

"Hey Mikey," I asked, trying to figure out why he looked so shy.

He gave me a shy smile "Hi" he almost whispered.

I waited for him to say something but he said nothing, so I asked "Um, is something up?"

He looked into my eyes nervously before asking "Do you think the fans are mad at him? Or they don't like her?" standing in front of my bed.

I knew he meant Luke, "I don't know Mikey. I mean I don't think they're mad, I think they feel...betrayed" our fans are precious to us. And I know they mean well.

"Yeah, you're right. I think they're just being protective of him, of us."

"Yeah, remember Abigail?" I reminded him, he frowned for a bit till I said "Do you remember how our fans were? Man, they were so protective of you, and pissed as hell" it was pretty darn cute. "I think after that, they're just being a bit more cautious. They don't want to see us get hurt."

He nodded, smiling at me "you're right". His smile was so beautiful, so much that it always seemed to hurt me. Then again, I'm the one to blame.

"So. Have you eaten yet?" I asked him. Feeling my stomach rumble, I really should keep track of what I eat.

"No. Why are you gonna make something?" he said curiously, I could see him trying to use his best puppy-dog eyes on me.

I snorted "Yeah alright I'll make you something. I mean if you like my food THAT MUCH." I grinned.

"Chief Calum Hood" he giggled, "please lead the way."

//

Calum's POV:

I walked into the kitchen looking in the cabinets for things I could use for me and Michael. I think there was a jar of Nutella somewhere around here.

"Calum, do you think we would slip apart if we all got girlfriends or something?" he asked from behind me, I couldn't see his face. Something,...he meant even a boyfriend. He still hasn't told me yet. I know he's Bi.

"I'd like to think no. We've all been together for so long, and why should our relationships intrude?" I shrugged my shoulders, no way would that happen. Plus Bryana and Arzaylea are chill. Oh, there's the Nutella, I found it in a top cubby.

"I hope so. Um...anyway what are you making?" he asked from my side "Oh Nutella," he said excitedly.

I grabbed a butter knife from the drawer, slipping the lid off and smearing globs of Nutella onto the toast.

"Yay, we have milk!" I heard Michael from a distance, grabbing 2 glasses from the bottom cubby, he sat them down on the counter next to me, resting his head on my shoulder.

"You know Twitter is blowing up for Luke, but also on us? They're saying Malum is now the best ship." he grinned.

I gave a smile, "Huh? Is that so? I guess we'd make an awesome couple."

"Yeah, I guess so. Kinda funny since I and Luke looked like the most popular ship" he gave a sad smile, removing his head from my shoulder, but I didn't notice, his words stung like a burn 'me and Luke'.

I couldn't help but feel irritated, "yeah I guess Malum doesn't stand a chance against Muke, right? Hell, what good am I to you? Not like I've known you for 6 years. Not like we're best friends. Shit" I cursed as I smeared the chocolate too hard on the bred, accidentally cutting through it.

"Calum? Are you okay" I could hear the confusion in his voice from my sudden outburst.

"Yeah I'm good" I reassured him. "Anyway, Yeah so we won't be separated so don't worry"

"Um, yeah okay," he said awkwardly. I forgot I already answered that, ugh I just wanted to change the subject, and I still haven't calmed down.

"Plus...I doubt that will be happening to me anytime soon." I mumbled out, Shit! Probably a bad idea, hope he didn't hea-

"What?" Dammit, "Why do you say that?" he asked very confused with my certainty.

"Just...because, the band is more important to me. I don't want any drama." I tried to convince him, but he didn't look convinced. If anything, he seemed surer now that I was lying.

"Lies Hood" he grinned, "Why? Girls would love you! And you always to cuddle, why would you think that would cause drama, unless...oooh you like someone!" he pointed at me proudly, as he caught me.

"No" I shook my head, "Nope" I tried to sound sure of myself. Shaking my head away from his view, I could feel my heart beating faster.

"Caluuum tell me! I know you're lying, you like someone. Who is it?" he whined trying to get me to look him in the eyes, following my gaze.

"No one, I promise" I kept moving away from him, but he kept following me, until he bumped into my chest, looking up at me.

"Calum hood tell me!" he said seriously.

"I-I fine I like someone!" I said frustrated.

"So who is she?" he asked me curiously.

"....How do you know it's a 'she'?" I asked him straight away "I could like a guy," I said without worry or care.

He looked taken back by my words "O-Oh, I-I didn't know you liked guys, you...never told me" he said embarrassed at his assumptions.

"Yeah it was kinda shitty for you to assume I was straight, I never said I was." I couldn't help my bitter tone.

"Wha-, hey you never told me you were Bi! I'd like to think it was important. And how was I supposed not to assume that?! you never said anything about guys being of interest. I thought you'd tell me something like that! Plus why didn't you?!" he started jabbing me in the chest with his finger.

"Well, you could have noticed! Plus why didn't you?!" I said, forgetting I wasn't supposed to let him know I knew.

He looked shocked "What?... How...How did you know?" he looked nervous suddenly.

"I always knew! And I know about him! I've always known about how you've felt for him!" I said I wasn't backing down, it was too much, it had to be said. I was tired of these secrets between us.

"Who?" he asked confusion written all over his face.

"LUKE!" I screamed, and then, for the first time, I saw Michael look terrified. He was shaking with fear and nervousness.

He was sputtering "H-How d-did you-u?".

"It was obvious. I'm your best friend, think I wouldn't know?" I said sadly, not happy with his uneasiness, my outburst didn't help either "Don't worry I don't care nor am I going to tell anyone."

"Oh...thank you" he seemed to relax after I mentioned I wouldn't tell anyone. "So...do you like a guy?" he asked nervously.

"I...yeah, yeah I do." I was tired of lying.

"Oh, so who is he? Anyone, I know?" I smiled at his change in attitude, he was smiling again.

I gave a nervous laugh "I..I guess." I turned away from him, trying to cover up the other piece of bread with chocolate.

"Come on you can tell me anything" he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me.

It hurt, his excited behavior, how he was happy for me to be with someone else. To not be with him.

I felt my voice shake "I-I rather not." I said trying to pull his arms off my waist.

"Calum, please. You know who I like." Ouch, that hurt. "Who I'm in love with." No no, I don't want to hear it. Don't.

"M-Michael I can't. I...I can't do this." I could feel my heart beating like a drum.

My voice confused him even more, I felt his arms loosen around me, "Calum I don't understa-"

"It's you," I said finally. My heart hurt, I finally told him. I wanted to cry. I don't know if in relief or of what I know is to come.

"I-I" he dropped his arms from around me, it suddenly felt so cold.

"I'm in love with you." I gave him a shallow shrug, it was done. We were done. "You wanted to know, so there you go."

I felt my throat tighten. "Michael Gordon Clifford, I Calum Hood, am in love with you."

I heard him whimper, I could see his tears, not tears of joy, but tears of pain of sympathy. Tears that say 'I am so sorry'.

"I uh...I love your smile" I smiled weakly at his now quivering lips.

"Your eyes" eyes that were now red, filled with tears.

"Your hair" I stroked his cheek affectionately.

"I love everything there is to you" I rested my hands on either side of his cheeks. "You...make me happy in so many ways." I felt my own voice quiver, tears spilling out of my eyes, the flow never stops.

"C-Calum do-don't." he pleaded, but I shook my head.

"Just for now. Just this once...let me tell you how much I-I love you" I could barely get the words out, my chest was aching like I was stabbed like I was dying. "You are worth so much in this life. Anyone who can't see that is not worth your time. Because you...you are perfect the way you are. And if he can't see that,...then he's not worth it." I wiped his tears, but they kept coming, just like mine.

"I am not saying for you to love me, but I am saying..." searching his eyes, pleading him "make sure he loves you as much as I do. Because nothing could pain me more, than seeing you unhappy. Even you not loving me back, your pain hurts like arrows in my heart."

I heard him sniffling as I finished, his eyes puffy and red from the tears that still weren't stopping,...he nodded.

I gave him a weak smile, the best I could, while my heart felt like it was being ripped apart "Goodbye Michael". I pulled my arms away and left for my room. I heard him fall to the ground, letting out little sobs. I'm so sorry Michael.

//

Michael's POV:

After what felt like forever, I got up on wobbly legs and walked to my room. Passing Calum's room I heard nothing, but tiny sniffling. I wanted to hear music, it always calmed me down, it was my escape. I was looking through my playlist, for songs to bury myself in. Nothing seemed right till I came across a Katy Perry song called "The One That Got Away" my curiosity made me click it.

"Summer after high school when we first met

We'd make out in your Mustang to Radio-head

And on my 18th Birthday

We got matching tattoos

Used to steal your parents' liquor

And climb to the roof

Talk about our future

Like we had a clue

Never planned that one day

I'd be losing you

In another life

I would be your girl

We'd keep all our promises

Be us against the world

In another life

I would make you stay

So I don't have to say

You were the one that got away

The one that got away"

I felt the tears come down my cheeks again, I loved it, even though it hurt. I really...wanted to post it. And...so I did.

//

Calum's POV:

My phone made a beep sound, telling me I had a notification from Twitter. I followed all the boys in the band and favorite them so I'd get a notification if they ever wrote something. I opened up the notification, it was by Michael.

And there it read 'In another life, I would be your girl'...it hurt, it fucking hurt so much, ......fuck...Fuck...."FUCK" I shouted as I threw my phone against the wall. "FUUUUCK!" I shouted again, throwing things in my room. I kept screaming, so much my throat was becoming sore, but I couldn't stop. I needed to throw something, anything to get the pain in my chest out, to make it stop. I grabbed my shoes, my clothes, my bag, my everything.

My screams and shouts seemed to grow louder the more I did. I kept it going till I could no longer scream, just clutch at arms as I sobbed. My tears felt like they were on fire, every tear hurting as it fell, it burns.

Will these tears scar my face? If it hurt this much, they should. I fell onto my bed, shoving my back into the wall, as sobs were wrecked from my throat. Pulling my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, burying my head into my shaking arms.

//

Michael's POV:

What Calum didn't know was that I was in the same situation as him, sobbing on the bed. Laying there, every time I heard Calum shout and scream, I felt a punch in my heart. It felt like a knife was cutting into my heaving chest.

My lungs were hurting, it was painful to breathe. The screams were making my body shake uncontrollably. I didn't even know I could cry this much.

How could I still be alive with the amount of pain I was feeling? Why? Why did it have to be this way? Why did I feel love from the wrong person? "Ugh" I let out a sob.

I heard Calum from the other side of the wall "I love you. I always will Mikey" I knew tears were flowing, I felt him move against the wall, pressing into it.

"Calum" I croaked, whimpering at how close we were, and at the same time...so far.

//

They knew the other was in pain, yet they knew they couldn't comfort each other. But what hurt them the most, was that they knew. They knew...maybe not in this world, but in the next, they were meant to be. Michael and Calum would love each other. Just...not in this one.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this ages ago back when I was in High-school and posted it on Wattpad. Decided to move it here too. Hope you liked this painful trash :P


End file.
